Executive Presence Lives in Your Perception, Not Your Voice

Let’s cut to the chase: Executive presence isn’t about how you sound.
It’s about how you listen.

Not just to others.
To yourself.
To your assumptions.
To the filters you don’t even know you’re using.

Because here's the truth that no one puts in the leadership playbooks:

The way you listen determines the way you lead.

And that—that—is where executive presence is either claimed or compromised.

But Isn’t Executive Presence About Speaking With Power?

Sure. Words matter.
But if you think executive presence starts with how you speak, you’re starting on step five.

Before the right words come out of your mouth…
Before the room leans in when you take the mic…

You’ve already made a hundred subconscious decisions.

About:

• Who holds the power in the room

• Whether you’re safe to speak freely

• What tone will be “acceptable” enough to get heard but not too sharp to get labeled “difficult”

Your brain is scanning the room like sonar.
And ALL of that sonar is guided by perception, not reality, according to neuroscientist Anil Seth in this TED Talk.

What’s Perception Got To Do With It?

Everything.

Perception is your brain’s shortcut.
It’s the story you’ve accumulated based on past experiences, real or feared.

That exec who always cuts you off?
You might walk in expecting disrespect before they even open their mouth.

That client who’s ghosted you for weeks?
You might show up bracing for disappointment—and unconsciously shrinking your power before you even speak.

But here’s the catch:

Perception feels like reality. But it’s not.

We think we’re reacting to “facts” when we’re actually reacting to feelings disguised as facts.

And we don’t just do this with other people.
We do it with ourselves.

Someone Says You’re Powerful. You Flinch.

Think back to the last time someone called you “brilliant,” “radiant,” or “unwavering.”

Did you light up?
Or did you flinch a little and think, “Me? Really?”

We struggle to receive those words because they bump up against our internal perceptions.
If your default narrative is self-doubt, praise doesn’t feel like truth. It feels like risk.

Receiving power requires a new perception of yourself.
One that most women in leadership were never taught to trust.

You Don’t Lead from Your Voice.

You Lead from Your Ears.

And your ears?

They’re tuned by every story, assumption, and filter you’ve internalized about who holds power, who deserves space, and whether it’s safe to speak.

That’s the real work of executive presence.
And it’s the kind of deep recalibration we do inside the Executive Presence Accelerator—not as a performance, but as a reclamation.

So What Do You Do?

You reclaim perception as your tool, not your trap.

1. Separate Perception from Reality

Ask: “What evidence do I actually have?”
Challenge your assumptions, even when they feel valid.

Still trying to figure out how to do that? Next time you’ve got yourself wrapped around an axle, write everything down that is in between those gorgeous ears of yours.  In fact, set a timer and give yourself FIVE WHOLE minutes just to write.

When you are done, grab a highlighter or take your pen and circle just the facts - who, what,  when, where…you find you have VERY few!  

2. Name Your Filters

Walk into meetings with curiosity, not conclusion.

Take the time BEFORE the meeting to reveal the stories you're projecting onto the agenda, the people in the room, and yourself.

3. Interrupt the Narrative

If you’ve spent even a moment with me, you already know how big a fan I am of giving people the tools they need to interrupt negative self-talk.

Now interrupt the stories you tell yourself about others, too.

Not to fake it.
But to make space for new possibilities.

4. Speak from Power, Not Protection

When perception is clear, your voice doesn’t need volume.
It will already carry weight.

Executive Presence Is An Inside Job

It doesn’t live in your voice.
It lives in the clarity behind your voice.

The grounded presence that says:

• “I don’t need to over-explain.”

• “I trust what I bring.”

• “I can lead the room without leaving myself behind.”

That’s when the room shifts.
That’s when respect becomes reflexive.
That’s when you stop performing and start leading.

So the next time you walk into a high-stakes room, ask yourself:

“What am I listening through?
What have I already decided about this moment, this person, or myself?”

Because your leadership won’t rise any higher than your perception allows.

And you, brilliant, bold, battle-tested woman, deserve to be seen with the full truth of your power.

Can I get an amen to that?