You’re David And I’m Michelangelo. It’s Time We Chisel Away What’s Not Really You
I was on the phone the other day with a woman and our conversation moved me to tears. For years, decades really, she’s gone through coaching and therapy, poured over self-help books, listened to personal development podcasts, and gone to retreats and seminars all in the pursuit of being at peace with herself. The total amount invested (apart from who knows how many logged hours of cognitive talk therapy or coaching homework): hundreds of thousands of dollars give or take a few bucks.
I wept with this woman on the phone because, in only fifteen minutes of my speaking to her, I was able to remove some of that armor she’s been wearing in a way no one else has. In just fifteen minutes, we were able to create the future. The future she wants, the future self she wants to be. And it all boiled down to inner peace. I wept with her because I felt so deeply about the years she’s spent exhausting herself, feeling like she’s never been enough, questioning her own worth, and denying all the things that make her beautiful and brilliant.
And I wept with her because she’s one of the hundreds of women I’ve worked with over my twenty years of coaching that struggle with the same. It’s devastating to me how many feel what she does and how long they push without relief.
For this very reason, I’m on a mission to make women at home with themselves because so many are not. They are driven and high-achieving, they are motivated and self-reliant, and they’ve accomplished ridiculous amounts of things BUT…
There’s always a but isn’t there?
But they don’t feel worthy. They don’t feel satisfied. They don’t see themselves the way their significant other or best friends see them. In fact, they may even struggle inside these close relationships because when they feel they come up short for themselves, they feel the others around them come up short, too. Because the degree at which you can’t be home with yourself is the degree you can’t be at home with others.
I see executive women struggling to connect to their teams or stand in their own leadership because they’re second-guessing themselves or don’t believe they have agency in their role even though they’ve climbed that corporate ladder. I see them showing up to the office early and staying late, trying to prove their dedication as though that’s the only way. They micromanage instead of delegate because they need control. They fear asking for help because they think it’s a “sign of weakness.” They get down on themselves and others when something fails to be perfect despite the fact that perfection isn’t attainable – it never has been.
It’s exhausting. All of it.
Do you see some part of yourself here?
I wept with this woman on the phone because I remember being in her shoes once a long time ago. I wept with her because just recently I found myself there again. So caught up in the swirling noise of other people’s opinions and ideas about what I should do with my business, I became out of touch with my own voice and values. The noise got so bad that I wanted to give up altogether and catch a plane to Bermuda—disappear for a while.
My phone conversation with her reminded me of why I do what I do and why I’m freakin’ fantastic at it. And, no, I don’t feel a single iota of boastfulness or arrogance in saying that. I’m owning my own damn magic and light. I’m celebrating my gifts. (You should try it sometime.)
What makes what I do work after those thousands of dollars spent in therapy ior with other coaches is that I’m not going to ADD to you. That’s what a lot of coaches and therapists out there do. They try to manage your mind, adding to the knowledge you already have. By adding, you’re just piling on more input. More info.
Wanna know what I do instead?
I take away everything that isn’t you. I’m like the damn Michelangelo of coaches. Michelangelo created David by taking away anything that wasn’t David.
Think about that.
What if right now what’s actually happening is you’re walking around weighed down and covered by pounds and pounds of clay. That clay is your people-pleasing. It’s your perfectionism, judgment, and comparison. It’s your driven-ness. It’s your need for external validation or the insatiable feeling that nothing is ever enough.
But that clay isn’t really yours. It’s not your true shape. It’s not your actual potential. You’ve covered yourself in clay because somewhere at some time it was as part of feeling safe or feeling secure or feeling like you belonged or feeling you met someone’s approval. And it may have served you at one time but it’s not serving you now.
I want to chisel away at that exterior to let you, the real you underneath it all, breathe your own life into the world. I take away everything that isn't you – the driven-ness, the perfectionism, the people-pleasing – so at the end of the day, you're crystal clear on who you are and are being true to yourself.
I want your taproot sunk so deep into the ground that you have an inextricable rootedness in who you are.
Just think.
What if you stopped seeking external validation to prove your worth?
What if you started looking inside yourself?
What if you were obsessed more with what was right about you instead of what was wrong?
What if you felt fulfilled instead of insatiable?
What if you felt energetic about life instead of exhausted?
What if you looked in the mirror and saw WHAT IS instead of seeing who you think you should be or what you should be or how you should look?
Let’s strip away everything that isn't you and allow yourself (the real you) to emerge.
And when you do, you’ll find that you belong to yourself no matter where you go or what you do.
You’ll have better discernment and decision-making.
You’ll be courageous enough to take bold action on your dreams or inside your businesses.
You’ll be a better communicator at home, at work, and everywhere you go.
You’ll have stronger relationships.
You’ll be able to ask for what you need without shame or guilt.
You’ll give yourself permission to let go or make mistakes or try something new.
You’ll find yourself present in the moment with yourself and with others.
You’ll awaken your own greatness and your own way of leading.
If you're ready to lay down your arms and move forward with who you really are, I’m here to help you lose the extra baggage, chisel away the extra clay, take off the masks and disguises, and reveal yourself to you.
Because you are magnificent.
You are a work of art.
And I’m here ready and waiting, holding the chisel.
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MAY 2, 2022