Don’t Be A Victim

I learned a lot watching my mom pass away from ovarian cancer.  How to NOT be a victim of a disease that we had no control over was a HUGE lesson for me and I wanted to pass it on to you. It’s lesson four in the epilogue of my new book “When I Die, Take My Panties: Turning Your Darkest Moments Into Your Greatest Gifts.”

Intellectually, we all know that blaming our circumstances does us no good but we do it anyway.  In doing so, we craft a lovely explanation for why life sucks at the moment, perhaps even giving ourselves a moment of relief.  In the end that explanation makes absolutely no difference because the explanation itself leaves us powerless. 

The best thing you can do? Ask yourself an empowering question such as: What do I resent about what is happening in this situation that I am willing to let go of? The definition of resentment is the “feeling or displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc. regarded as causing injury or insult.” Look, maybe someone did intentionally set out to cause you displeasure or indignation – that is for them to deal with. Don’t you give away your power by continuing to be angry at the person or situation. The only one harmed by you holding on to your resentment is you.

Here are a few more great questions to ask: What did I step over or ignore that led to this circumstance? Where did I compromise my values and give into something I knew wasn’t right for me or my life? This stepping over question is a big one. Stepping over something is like stepping over the dog poop in your back yard. The more you leave it, the less room your dog has for running around. Stepping over issues in our lives is the same kind of thing. The more you step over the less freedom you experience to be yourself and express yourself.

What other questions could you ask yourself? Send me a note and let me know jencoken@gmail.com.

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